Fresh Air

About to head to bed but as usual i have a lot on my mind. I just really feel that my anxiety has really gone down and i decided against any sort of medication. Which im glad i have now that im doing so well. I havent been focusing on anything negative since my new out look on life is that there is only negative when you dwell on things and not take in what is really important in this world. People are so miserable around me 24/7. I dont want to be like that. We never know when we are gonna go and we never know whats waiting for us. There is no reason to be negative about something you cantchange. Taking one day at a time and making the best of what i have and not comparing myself to others. In the end none of this matters. I dont want to look back and question my existance. Anyways im tired. Erin

Renewal

There is so much going through my mind atm. This past couple of days were refreshing when you realize that there are others in this world that struggle as i do. And they are fighting the battle and winning. Today i just relaxed after coming home from an exhausting trip upstate...wedding. Being involved in lots of activities sorrounded by people who i dont know. There was a couple of times during the weekend where i just wanted to give up and go home. I wanted to give up on everything and wish the world would end so i wouldnt have to suffer this anymore. But i fought through it and learned a lot about myself and under estimating others... I dont like giving people and situations a chance in the event that something goes terribly wrong. You stand still in that frame of mind though and discontinue any progress and refused to move forward. I have set some goals for myself for the next couple of months. I want to live life and not work my self up about the past or present... Anyways im still trying to reset my body time clock since its still out of wack. Going to bed. EC